Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Reasons and Apologies


Well, I don't have any real or good reasons for not updating the Mt. Rainier NP photo guide for September and the fall season and work on some other projects with the history and guide. I only have excuses that I haven't done much else on anything for most of this year.

In the end I simply have to apologize for the lateness and delays. I've written about some of them on my life blog, meaning physical problems which started last October and specialists can't identify beyond blaming my imagination for a real health problem. And this last summer another one started and hasn't gone away which specialist say there aren't treatments which work and surgery is iffy at best.

On top of that my Dysthymia has worsened for periods of weeks to months leaving me more a less a walking couch potato, except I don't watch much TV. In short, the energy and enthusiasm has waned like a quarter moon becomes a new moon, and whatever is left has vanished.

Simply vanished. Everything will return sometime. When I don't know. All the effort to help isn't working. So far. But I know from past episosdes, it will return and I will feel better mentally and emotionally, but to feel better physically, maybe. It's the big question if my physician can't find a specialist willing to spend the time to listen, conduct the necessary tests and find what's wrong.

I know something is wrong, my body is telling me, but the test are coming back normal. The problem is that the tests are looking for the obvious and not the less obvious or that normal is abnormal, which has been my argument and anger at specialists, and the medical community. They decided nothing was wrong without going any farther.

And so my health insurance company is and will be reluctant to pay for further tests if there isn't a diagnosis to confirm the need. I'm chasing a physical ghost I can feel but doctors can't see. So I mentally fall down the well, and where bottom is I don't know, except when I hit it, and can then change for the better.

So that's my excuse and my apology to all of you who have gratefully visited my Website and photo guide. I greatly appreciate it and will get the September/October updates done soon and trudge on with life. Thank you for the ear.

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